When I lived in Ontario I found a daily temperature of -9c dreadfully cold and worthy of much shivering and complaining. I now find myself wearing yoga pants under my jeans, two pairs of socks, a toque and mitts daily. Each morning I will dutifully check my phone weather ap, hoping to discover a temperature in the single digits where only one layer will be needed. My heart soared to see a reading of -9, only to have it broken when I discovered that it was indeed -26 and I had in fact left my phone turned to the Cambridge, Ontario page the night before. I now in true Manitoba fashion scoff the Southern Ontario people when they complain about the snow and cold.
And yet there are those in my community who scoff my complaints. Those who have lived in Northern Manitoba or the territories, where -40 is the norm. What? Isn't -26 cold? Sure feels cold to me!
I've come to the realization that cold is a matter of perspective. God created us so ingeniously that our bodies miraculously adapt to our surroundings time and time again. It's wonderful that my body has adapted to the point where -10 is now no big deal...and good thing since I daily have to deal with much less. But really, does that make -10 any less painful for the person who is accustomed to nothing below zero?
This has been on my mind lately....but the concept of perspective goes so much deeper than that. We tend to measure and judge not just the temperature outside, but our stresses, our pain tolerance, our lack of prosperity, our trauma, our hurt, our grief....the list is endless. We have this idea in our heads that if our situation is "worse" than our neighbours, they have no right to complain. "Oh, you think you've got it rough...well, I'm dealing with x, y and z. You've got it easy!" Does our neighbour feel any better by our lack of empathy? I think not!
We will always have people in our lives who complain about what seems like the smallest thing. Their list of issues is endless and it is difficult to have patience with them. But perhaps their complaining is simply a symptom of a much larger issue....perhaps it is spurned by feeling insignificant and simply wanting attention....maybe they can't express the big, difficult thing in their life and they cope by grumbling about the little things. I don't know.
I do know that when someone is expressing hurt, it's not our job to pull out a measuring stick, compare and belittle it. We read in Philippians 2:1-4:
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
I pray that God always keeps me mindful of the pain others are going through and sensitive to their hurt and struggle, regardless of my own! And I'm sorry my Ontario friends....yes, -12 is cold when you live here!
This animated short does a fantastic job of showing how empathy REALLY works: http://blazenfluff.com/the-power-of-empathy-animated-short-explains-the-difference-between-empathy-and-sympathy/
No comments:
Post a Comment