Convicted!

Today on my way to work I made my bi-weekly stop at the Bulk Barn to stock up on my favourite sugar/yeast/dairy-free treats. As I approached the door I noticed an older man with a huge cast on his leg struggling down the sidewalk on crutches. I waited until he got closer, asked if he too was set to "bulk up" and held the door for him. Having been a seasoned veteran of the hop-along club, I knew first-hand that doors are not your friend when you are restricted in this way. In hindsight it's only with shame I admit that I mentally patted myself on the back for being a thoughtful Christian to this strange man.

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When we entered the store I noticed him looking skeptically at the carts and baskets. I recalled being in a similar dilemma and solving it by shopping with a shoulder bag or knapsack to carry my goods. This poor man had no such foresight. In a hurry to pick up my purchases and have enough time to stop at the bank before work, I continued on my merry way. It wasn't until I reached the checkout and began to pack my purchases into my own enviro-bag that I recalled this poor man and felt a reminding nudge. I glanced at the clock on my phone and as my eyes darted around the store I decided I didn't have time to find him to see if he needed assistance and left.

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My mind quickly fled to other things when I got to work, confronted with stacks of inventory to receive, invoices to enter and new product to price and merchandise. However halfway through the night I recalled a recent conversation with a friend where he shared a now humorous story of being too adventurous in a wheel chair and being stuck 1/3 of the way down a steep hill and at the mercy of whatever person passing by had sympathy for his situation. I had been quick to say that had I passed by I would have helped him. My actions of the afternoon flooded me with feelings of guilt as I realized that in my selfishness I failed to spare 10 minutes to assist a man desperately in need of help with shopping. At the very least I could have given him a shoulder bag and a suggestion.

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With tears in my eyes I find myself confronted by Matthew 25:42-45:

“For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.......Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

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For those of us who follow Christ, it's not good enough to spend 10 seconds holding a door and think we've done our good deed for the day. How are we to be salt and light if we are more worried about our agendas than those who are struggling right in front of us?

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God, forgive me for today I saw one of your own in need and I failed him due to my own selfish agenda. And thank you for your abounding grace to forgive. Next time I know the bank can wait and work can be late.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voawjjqg8zw

"Behold the man upon the cross, my sin upon His shoulders. Ashamed I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers".

Perfect Timing

This past week I had the awesome privilege of being reunited with a dear friend from my youth. John and I parted company back around 1992, approximately 18 years ago. Last night sitting in Tim Hortons laughing at old stories, floods of memories returning it felt like not a day had passed! My dear friend still holds a precious place in my heart and I didn't realize this until I had heard his voice on the phone this week.

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Yet a small part of me felt resentful, almost like I'd been robbed of a treasure for the past 18 years. There had been times when I had tried to look him up; Google searches for his name, his brother's name, his sister's name had come up empty. As far as I had known he had fallen off the planet! It didn't seem fair that I had to go for so long without this special friendship when for much of that time we really hadn't been far away from one another.

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But then I looked back at the things I'd been through in the past 18 years; the relationships I'd been in, the cities I'd moved to, the careers I had chosen, the personal growth I've experienced and more than anything the relationship I've developed with God over the past 3 years. John truly is a special guy and I don't know if I would have fully been able to appreciate that before God had done all this work in me. I look back and realize that I didn't see it way back when; perhaps if I had we never would have gone our separate ways.

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And this all brings me to the conclusion that God's timing is indeed perfect. He is neither too early or too late. I can mourn the years of friendship lost, however I think I'm not doing God justice if I don't recognize that our moment of being reunited was intentionally saved for such a time as this. And knowing my dear friend and his knowledge of music from another day, this quote from Ecclesiastes 3:2-8 (borrowed by The Byrds) is more than perfect for the occasion:

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A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB6jhbtDUZE&feature=related - listen and be blessed!

The jigsaw puzzle of life

I have always LOVED jigsaw puzzles. I think it stems back to my childhood. Before dad 'started wearing a suit to work' we would often spend countless hours on a Sunday afternoon piecing together these mammoth monstrosities. Others in the family would join in briefly (especially when we got down to the last 10 or 20 pieces) but it was dad and I who worked together to bring this collection of seemingly random little bits into a beautiful masterpiece. When time allows there's nothing like a good afternoon of puzzling to brighten my weekend and flood back the fond memories.

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Other puzzle lovers can attest to this idea....there will often be one piece that looks as though it's supposed to fit in a certain spot. The shape seems right, the colours match. But it just doesn't quite go. And even after scrutinizing it closely and knowing for certain that it doesn't fit, you will still attempt to place it in that very spot several more times before you find it's true home. When my mom sees me doing this she'll jokingly say "Want me to get the hammer and you can try to make it fit?" LOL!

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Like these errant puzzle pieces I have spent years trying to make myself fit into places that I don't belong. I tried to blend with friends and coworkers with totally different lifestyles and agendas than mine. I've desperately tried to construct and maintain relationships with men who I knew weren't right for me. I've worked at jobs that looked exciting and rewarding on the outside, but left me tired, frustrated and empty. In frustration I returned to my former mundane job, single and alone, feeling like I just didn't fit in this world. I'd often read Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" and wondered "When am I going to find this happiness? When is God going to give me the job and the relationship that my heart desires?"

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It took a long time before I realized that the crux of having the desires of your heart is rooted in the first half of that verse, "Take delight in the Lord". A large part of taking delight in the Lord is blooming where you are planted. Seeking opportunities wherever you are in life to minister to those around you, witness, testify, learn, grow, blossom. Stop looking at the green grass on the other side of the fence and focus on the yard in front of you. For me this meant I had to stop longingly looking at exciting jobs and feeling jealous of the awesome relationships my friends were in. I had to stop trying to hammer myself into positions that I didn't fit and enjoy the position I was in.

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And what happened? Over time I see the Lord changing the desires of my heart. I have no idea if one day He's going to position me in an exciting upbeat career that at that time WILL fuel and fulfill me. I can't begin to guess if one day He's going to provide me with the perfect relationship with some wonderful man who I'll spend the rest of my life with. What I do know is that I'm in a unique situation with a freedom and flexibility to do all kinds of work for His kingdom that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do. Right here, right now I'm placed in an AWESOME position in God's puzzle called life and I plan to enjoy every moment of it!

Waiting till it completely breaks down

Although my car is only 5 years old, it's desperately in need of some attention. Most noticeable is the huge crack that goes across the entire windshield. Less noticeable is the fact that 2 of the tires are completely worn out (yes, I was advised to replace ALL 4 of them two winters ago, however just the front 2 got done!) You can't see the brake pads that I feel have less grab than they should. And in spite of the fact that I drive it every day, I'm oblivious to the belts, fluids and filters that I was told need some attention by the last grease monkey who changed my oil. In many respects my sporty red Sunfire could be on the verge of falling apart on me.

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Like most students I don't have a huge reserve of cash sitting in my bank account waiting to be spent. And all these repairs will likely wait until either the car feels dangerous to drive or until it just won't go any more. When that happens I'll find the money whether I have it or not. I need my car to get to work, to church, to run errands etc. I live in the country and can't function without it. But in the meantime, as long as it keeps running, I'll keep driving.

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I have many unsaved friends who treat their lives the way I treat my car. They know something isn't right in their lives. They know there's something missing. They don't have true joy. They don't have peace. They are okay to get through their days and even find reasons to laugh now and then. However deep inside they know that something huge is lacking in their lives. As long as they can survive and get through their days they aren't actually going to do anything about it. Sometimes I want to shake these people until they "get it"...why do they reject the one thing that they so desperately need in their life? It isn't until they hit rock bottom that they are able to look up to Christ.

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Jesus in Matthew 5:3-4 brings good news to those who get to that point: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted". Like my car, when they get to the point where they can't go any more, they will most likely get the help they so desperately need and when they do, they will be granted the comfort they need. We need to stand by, pray and wait, being ready to point them to the best and only spiritual mechanic there is. This is hard because from our point of view the solution looks so easy. Unlike my car repairs, their salvation is a FREE gift from God. They need only ask and it will be given to them. But until they get to the point that they see they need the help, they will keep going and all we can do is wait and pray.

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An awesome song (and a very cool video) for those who are thirsty for God: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryrbNieM0jY - listen, watch and be blessed!

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Anyone know a good mechanic??? ;-)

Playing to lose...and yet winning???

A huge part of growing up in my house were family games at the kitchen table. I'm thrilled to see that my brother and his wife have carried on this tradition. Last night we celebrated by niece's 8th birthday and ended the night with an exciting game of "Aggravation". You start out with your 4 men in "base"; by rolling a six or a one you are able to bring a man onto the playing field and work your way around the board, attempting to bring each one home before an opponent knocks you back to base. Kinda like an old-school version of the popular game "Trouble", sans the popping dice.

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But we Pluim girls don't tend to play this game in the traditional, dog-eat-dog, looking out for #1 sense. Me and my two trusty nieces are always quick to form our girl-power alliance with one clear and concise directive in mind: GET DAD! We go out of our way to avoid knocking each other off and are quick to point out how someone else's fortunate roll of the die can be enabled to prevent my brother from having any hope of possibly winning the game. So after about 45 minutes of play, all us ladies have at least one or two men safely home, while my brother sits with ALL his men still in base, earnestly praying for the correct role to at least get him back in the game.

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Of course this situation has the potential to be extremely negative; I think many of us would become outraged in protest, claim unfairness and perhaps even leave mid-game in disgust. Not my brother! He keeps cheerfully playing, joking with threats of a days rations of nothing but bread and water should his daughters continually plot against him, as he laughs and rolls again and again. He sees that his daughters are learning teamwork. They are improving their abilities to strategize. They're forming bonds with their aunt. He's not playing to win. He's not even playing to do well. He's playing for the love of his kids and the potential learning and growing that they will experience because of the folly he himself has to undergo.

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I sometimes see life giving us the raw deal that my brother got last night; we can't seem to get anywhere; everything we do leads us back to square one; we try and try but never get ahead; all those around us are prospering, advancing, winning and we are stuck where we are. We take a new job with hopes of advancement and increase, but end up staying right where we are, season after season. We join a rec sports team in hopes of winning a trophy at the end of the season but come in last place. We start a new program in school with the intention of gaining a degree, but life takes us in other directions and we're unable to complete it.

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Jesus shared some great wisdom about coming in last place in Matthew 19:28-30: “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first". One of the things I've learned from this is it doesn't matter whether we win or lose, or even if we finish...what matters is whether or not we are pursuing God! If we take a new job or play a sport simply with the intent of winning, it doesn't matter if win. It's meaningless!

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But if we do all that we do with the sole intention of following Jesus and furthering His kingdom, we will be winners, regardless of what position the world places us at. If we're doing it for God, it doesn't even matter if we finish. The lives of those around us will be impacted in ways that we can't even imagine, God will be glorified and His love will shine through us. In light of that, "winning" seems a little trivial, doesn't it!
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If we want to truly be winners we need to make Jesus the first and the last - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SjuWXqEjys - listen and be blessed!