The jigsaw puzzle of life

I have always LOVED jigsaw puzzles. I think it stems back to my childhood. Before dad 'started wearing a suit to work' we would often spend countless hours on a Sunday afternoon piecing together these mammoth monstrosities. Others in the family would join in briefly (especially when we got down to the last 10 or 20 pieces) but it was dad and I who worked together to bring this collection of seemingly random little bits into a beautiful masterpiece. When time allows there's nothing like a good afternoon of puzzling to brighten my weekend and flood back the fond memories.

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Other puzzle lovers can attest to this idea....there will often be one piece that looks as though it's supposed to fit in a certain spot. The shape seems right, the colours match. But it just doesn't quite go. And even after scrutinizing it closely and knowing for certain that it doesn't fit, you will still attempt to place it in that very spot several more times before you find it's true home. When my mom sees me doing this she'll jokingly say "Want me to get the hammer and you can try to make it fit?" LOL!

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Like these errant puzzle pieces I have spent years trying to make myself fit into places that I don't belong. I tried to blend with friends and coworkers with totally different lifestyles and agendas than mine. I've desperately tried to construct and maintain relationships with men who I knew weren't right for me. I've worked at jobs that looked exciting and rewarding on the outside, but left me tired, frustrated and empty. In frustration I returned to my former mundane job, single and alone, feeling like I just didn't fit in this world. I'd often read Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" and wondered "When am I going to find this happiness? When is God going to give me the job and the relationship that my heart desires?"

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It took a long time before I realized that the crux of having the desires of your heart is rooted in the first half of that verse, "Take delight in the Lord". A large part of taking delight in the Lord is blooming where you are planted. Seeking opportunities wherever you are in life to minister to those around you, witness, testify, learn, grow, blossom. Stop looking at the green grass on the other side of the fence and focus on the yard in front of you. For me this meant I had to stop longingly looking at exciting jobs and feeling jealous of the awesome relationships my friends were in. I had to stop trying to hammer myself into positions that I didn't fit and enjoy the position I was in.

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And what happened? Over time I see the Lord changing the desires of my heart. I have no idea if one day He's going to position me in an exciting upbeat career that at that time WILL fuel and fulfill me. I can't begin to guess if one day He's going to provide me with the perfect relationship with some wonderful man who I'll spend the rest of my life with. What I do know is that I'm in a unique situation with a freedom and flexibility to do all kinds of work for His kingdom that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do. Right here, right now I'm placed in an AWESOME position in God's puzzle called life and I plan to enjoy every moment of it!